SUMMARY: The title, really, is the summary.

RATING: NC-17

SPOILERS: Other fanfics

DISCLAIMER: Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. Proceed at your own risk. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. For recreational purposes only. Driver does not carry cash. And, as always, thank you for choosing Aloysia Airlines for your direct flight from canon to fanfic.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Many thanks to leucocrystal and scarletbaldy for not having me committed when I got their opinions on this. Beyond that, none of the blame for this lies with them. This was originally posted at xf_pornbattle for the prompts Mulder/Scully, fanfic cliches.

(Link to original below the fake cut. )

Plz to contribute to the ruination of families.

Thanks to icedteainthebag and colebaltblue for all their hard work!

It's the only possible explanation for this. (Actually, my other theory is that she is a conglomerate of writers, but I like the idea of her being a lone, mad genius so much better.)

Also, Erin M. Blair is an anagram for:

Mineral Rib
Manlier Rib
Mariner Lib
Re-arm Blini
Marlin Brie
Iran Limber
Real Bin Rim
Earl Nib Rim

Can anyone explain to me why both of my fandoms have an unholy love for the name William? Behold:



The X-Files

Billy Miles
Bill Mulder
Fox William Mulder
Bill Scully Sr.
Bill Scully Jr.
William Jesus Mahatma Mulder


BSG

William Adama
Hapless Billy the Redshirt
Liam Tigh (Liam is a form of William, for you non-name-nerds.)


So what gives?

First and foremost, I'm going to be backing off of my online time somewhat. So if it seems like I'm ignoring you or just generally being a sucky friend, I apologize. It's nothing personal, just me trying to reorganize some priorities and strike a more comfortable balance between online stuff and real-life stuff. I've decided to take a break from writing for a bit as well, because I've written an INSANE amount of stuff this year. Which has been very cathartic, but it's time to pull back for a while.

In funner news, I had to get some work done on my car today, and a friend very graciously minded my children while it was being done. And, inspired by some funny links my friend Fiona shared with me and some recent posts at the_caps_files, I whiled away my time in the waiting area generating something a little bit insane.

So, for a little while at least, I end my fic career on a very cracky note:

I used to subsist on coffee and cigarettes. I quit smoking almost seven years ago, and quit drinking caffeine when I got pregnant with VirgataGirl in 2003. Due to breastfeeding her for a year, getting pregnant with VirgataBoy, and breastfeeding him for a year, I never really got used to caffeine again. I have also very greatly reduced my intake of processed carbs/sugar, so I am fairly highly sensitive to spikes in my blood sugar. Today I had two cups of coffee and three Cadbury mini-eggs for lunch and I really don't think I've blinked for like the past twenty minutes or so. I may actually be vibrating.

Also dashakay and icedteainthebag have convinced me to give Battlestar Galactica another try. So this morning I loaded the kids up in the car and went to Blockbuster and rented the miniseries. Mr. Virgata has been sending snotty little e-mails mocking me because, um, I may have been snide about his own BSG love in years past. So I had this coming, but I am still going to smack him when he gets home.  Part of me wants to love it, but part of me hopes it still doesn't suit my tastes because Lord knows the last thing I need is another time suck.

Also, I am so tweaked from my craptacular lunch that I can't focus on anything. I was trying to fold towels and got distracted by, well, everything. And I broke a light bulb.

SUMMARY: It is Drinks-And-Movie night. Spaceballs is playing in the background, but neither of them is paying attention.

RATING: R

SPOILERS: Um, I got the Drinks-And-Movie night idea from Je Souhaite. That's about it.

DISCLAIMER: Characters courtesy 1013, title courtesy Mel Brooks, crazy courtesy yours truly.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Originally posted at xf_pornbattle for the prompt Mulder/Scully, fuck-me shoes. It's silly and fluffy and she probably would have decked him if he'd actually run his mouth like this, but I like a good Vixen!Scully now and again. So here she is, in all her mischievous glory.

( You do the naughty librarian thing. )

Okay, I lied. We weren't totally done. The Common Fate Gag Reel is up at cheapredhead .

I wish I could tell you this great story about how we got completely hammered on absinthe and did this while having drunken hallucinations, but the sad fact is that we wrote it utterly sober.

 

SUMMARY: Scully puts her white hand on Scully's sun-browned knee…

RATING: PG-13 

SPOILERS: I Want To Believe by way of fics by Marigold and Aloysia Virgata

DISCLAIMER: Not mine, though I'm uncertain as to whether anyone else would even want to claim this level of crazy. Marigold, thanks for letting me play with your things.

 

( They groan simultaneously, thinking of green alien goo and frostbite and the inconvenient synchrony of that moment. )